Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
