i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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