Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So much Jack, so little girl.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
