I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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