I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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