The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize