I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
