worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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