He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
