i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
