the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
