so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
sex in a hospital.. check
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
