Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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