Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
