I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
