quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
