The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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