I'm really into asian looking animals
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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