I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize