so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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