I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
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I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
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I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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