She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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