Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
