I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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