Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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