Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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