I murdered the dance floor call the cops
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize