I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
