Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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