I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize