1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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