a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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