Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
