yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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