dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
