I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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