Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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