Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
this just has baby written all over it
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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