your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
and you fell through a lawn chair
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
