Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
