Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
