Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
