If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
