i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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