Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
