also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
it's like iHOP with fire
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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