He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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