i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
