Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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