Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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