After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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