So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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