Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I cut my penus on the lid.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
