as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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