Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
