girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
